The 10 Commandments of eating pizza, according to New Jerseyans
If there’s one thing that you can count on in the Garden State, it’s that we all have strong pizza opinions, and we all believe that we’re the ones with the correct stance.
Whether it’s how you eat your slice, where you get it, or what you put on it, we will tell you what we think and why you’re wrong.
With this in mind, we started asking on New Jersey 101.5’s afternoon show what true New Jerseyans thought should be the official pizza rules when dining here.
Check out these commandments that your fellow ‘za lovers came up with to see if you are a sinner.
These are the definitive rules for pizza in New Jersey
Thou shalt not use a fork and knife
I don’t think a single person who weighed in on air said that they use utensils. New Jerseyans almost have to look in the other direction when they see utensils near a slice of pizza.
Alternatively, I think “thou shalt keep thine hands clean” sounds nice, but I seem to be in the minority on this one.
Thou shalt not dip your pizza in ranch dressing
A peeve of my cohost, Jeff Deminski, he says “tis better to put the pizza in thine mouth than to spread it in ranch,” which is far more eloquently put than my argument which is “but it’s yummy.”
Thou shalt not defile thy slice with fruit
TJ in Freehold called in with this one, he and Deminski both believe toppings like pineapple, papaya, or figs shouldn’t be anywhere near a pizza.
Thou shalt fold the pizza
Patrick in Mercer County says this should be a hard rule regardless of toppings. Folding the slice keeps the mess to a minimum.
Or Hakim on Unsplash" loading="lazy" onload="this.parentNode.parentNode.classList.add('frame-loaded');" onerror="this.parentNode.parentNode.classList.add('broken-image');" fetchpriority="low" width="1600" height="1067"/>Thou shall never reheat your slice in the microwave
If you want to completely destroy your slice by ridding it of all its crisp, by all means, put it in the microwave.
I consider it a massive sin (or perhaps self-punishment?) to destroy the crispiness of the crust. Callers, Laurie and Arlene, vehemently agreed with this when they chimed in on air.
Thou shall avoid anchovies
Tony in Brick offered up this pizza rule due to the nastiness of the topping option. He was met with no argument.
Thou shall not buy store brand frozen pizza
When you live in a state where you can practically stand outside one pizza joint and see another one down the road, there’s no excuse for buying frozen “pizza” from the grocery store.
Thou shall not eat deep-dish, as it is a fake God
It should be a sin to even call deep-dish a pizza at all, what you’re eating is basically a bread bowl of sauce. Gross.
Thou shall embrace the ‘Tomato Pie’
Ed in Hamilton refuses to use the notion of what the normies call ‘pizza,’ you must give yourself over to the tomato pie with cheese going on before the sauce, finished with a splash of “liquid gold,” olive oil.
Thou shall worship no pizza above boardwalk pizza
Bobbie called in to say that she’s willing to drive over an hour to go across the state for a slice of boardwalk pizza. She’s hasn’t met one she doesn’t like.
Go forth and spread the good word of these rules, and may pizza be with you.
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The post above reflects the thoughts and observations of New Jersey 101.5's Kylie Moore. Any opinions expressed are Kylie's own. You can follow Kylie on Instagram.
