New Jersey has the 10 Commandments of Pizza Toppings
There is no other like it in the world. Our NJ pizza. It’s got that special something. Some say it’s the water. Some say it’s the way we make our crust. Some say it’s just got that Jersey swag.
Whatever that special is, we’ve got the best pizza in the world and we know it. But we also have very strict rules about our pizza. You never fold it. You never eat it with a knife and fork. And there are certain toppings that are just a no-no.
There are 10 deadly sins of pizza toppings in New Jersey.
Here, we will list the 10 Commandments of pizza toppings, though shalt heed.
Thou shalt not have pickles on pizza.
Do you wanna have a salad with pickles? We’ve got no problem with that. Burgers? Obviously. But pickles have absolutely no place on a pizza in NJ.
Thou shalt not eat fruit on pizza.
There are those who enjoy goat cheese, apples, and caramelized onions on a pizza. If you do, take a hike. No apples no pineapples no bananas no tangerine slices no, no no fruit on a pizza.
Thou shalt save the ham for sandwiches.
Some have enjoyed ham with pineapple on pizza. I get
It. You like meat on a pizza. There are plenty to choose from. Meatballs? Acceptable. Pepperoni? Encouraged. But ham?? Save it for Christmas. And if you do not heed this commandment, and decide to whip up a coal-fired pineapple pizza, expect coal fire and brimstone.
Thou shalt honor the cheeses.
There are Jillions of different cheeses that are acceptable on pizza. Why do you need to ruin a perfectly delicious pizza with goat cheese.? You’ve got smoked cheeses, buffalo mozzarella, fresh, mozzarella, grated mozzarella, asiago, Parmesan and any number of combinations of the above, but for Heaven’s sweet sake stop with the Goat cheese on pizza. For, on pizza, the goat is anything but the GOAT.
Thou shalt leave ranch dressing off pizza.
There’s a saying: There’s nothing in the world that can’t be improved with either ranch dressing or chocolate. Pizza is the one exception. Although we’ve heard of people eating ranch dressing on pizza, we believe they deserve to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of culinary law. Or be doomed to pizza perdition.
Thou shalt not covet pineapple on pizza.
Even if it were acceptable to eat any fruit on pizza, pineapple would not be it. Yet, we know many people eat, ham, and pineapple on pizza . If youre a fan of the combination of pineapple and ham, go to a luau. But keep it off of your pizza
Thou shalt save mustard for hot dogs.
I’m not sure where this idea came from but there are people who put mustard on a pizza. Those people should be ashamed of themselves. Not sure what the penance is for this transgression. Please consult your local clergyperson.
Thou shalt not eat chicken on pizza.
A huge sin. The chickens themselves would be embarrassed to know that they were going to be shredded and thrown on top of a pizza. need I say more?
Thou shalt not bear pizza peas.
A popular Brazilian food is pizza with peas thrown on top. And for some reason this is gained popularity in certain parts of the country. Please, go back to those parts.
Remember the beans and keep them off the pizza.
I was horrified to hear that there are people who enjoy baked beans on top of the pizza. And others have created a monstrosity called a Mexican pizza with refried beans on top. There’s absolutely no explanation for this, nor any excuse For it. Just stop. Or risk being relegated to food hell.
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Opinions expressed in the post above are those of New Jersey 101.5 talk show host Judi Franco only.
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